I was sitting on the patio at my hotel restaurant, having lunch and watching people and traffic on Central Street.  Central is what Route 66 is called as the highway makes its way through Albuquerque. 

It was Sunday, and at times it looked like a parade of cars, trucks, and motorcycles on Route 66.  Some of the vehicles were old, and some were new. Many were painted so beautifully they looked like works of art.  They were all loud works of art.

I saw that as the parade went by, many honked and waved at the people sitting in their lawn chairs on the sidewalk across the street from me.  The folks in the lawn chairs would wave and yell back.

I could not tell how many people were sitting across the street.  My vision was partially blocked by a truck parked on the street.

The truck reminded me of Mater from the movie Cars.  Except that this truck was not rusted, nor was it a tow truck.  It was parked on Route 66.  I guess it could have been Mater’s little brother.

Mater’s brother

I decided that I needed to go across the street and talk to the folks.  They looked like they were having fun.  I wanted to meet them and have a conversation.

First, I needed to run up to my room and grab my memory maker.  I have often found that my camera helps break the ice.  It opens the door to conversation.  If I start by asking for a picture of the truck, it could then move into a group picture around the truck, and then to individual photos and conversations.  I had a plan.  Who knows, we might even talk cancer.

I ran across the street with my MM.  I found three women and three men sitting in the lawn chairs.  Of course, I approached the closest woman, because you know that it would be a woman in charge of this party.  It turns out that she was the owner of the truck.  I asked about getting pictures of the truck and the group around the truck.  I also told her about the photo project and fundraiser that I was working on.  She told me that her mother was a breast cancer survivor and that the lady sitting three chairs down was also a cancer survivor.  She said that I should definitely talk to her.

I walked down a few chairs and introduced myself to Brenda.  During our conversation I learned that four years ago, Brenda had gone into the hospital for a hysterectomy, and during the surgery cancer was found in her fallopian tubes.  The surgery then turned into a cancer operation.  Brenda came out of the surgery a cancer patient.

The cancer was discovered early, and since the surgery, her tests have found no evidence of disease.  She is in remission.

NED, no evidence of disease, is a phrase that I often think about.  It is a phrase I have never heard from my medical team when talking about Brutus.

I am reminded of the spread of my disease every two or three months when we check the numbers.  The doubling time of the disease is concerning.  In the past several years, Brutus has doubled every two to four months.  It varies from testing cycle to testing cycle.  Brutus most often doubles every three months.  The numbers climb and do not come down until I once again go on hormone treatments.  When the numbers go down to a lower level, the treatment is stopped.  I go off the drugs and try to get better.  The numbers will start to go back up, and the doubling time will once again be around three months.  This is my cycle of intermittent treatments.

How long can I stay on intermittent treatments?  Well, I have been on my treatment plan for years, but it could be coming to an end.  That is the feeling I get from my new oncologist.

My new doctor wants to see how my tests come out in November.  My last test was horrific.  We want to see if things go back to my standard doubling time pattern or if this is a new phase of Brutus that we have not seen before. 

My doubling time from my last test was calculated to be two weeks.  Two fucking weeks!  That is a concern.  That is crazy.  That has never happened before.  Fuck you Brutus.   

What is the cause of the dramatic growth?  Could it be the tumors they found in my chest near my heart?  Could it be the cancer found in my pelvic bones?  Could it be the tumor in my head?  Could it be a tumor or tumors that have not yet, but soon will show up on the scans?  All the unknown has been challenging to deal with.  Your mind wanders.  Sometimes it wanders into very dark areas.  My future becomes a big unknown.

While visiting with Brenda, I wondered how she dealt with the unknown of being in remission, but not yet considered cancer free.  I asked what advice she would give to a cancer patient.  At that time in our conversation, I was not sure if she knew that I was a cancer patient.  She shared her wisdom on how to deal with cancer by showing me the tattoo on her right forearm.  It read…One Day At A Time.

This is advice we have all read or heard before.  It applies to life in general, but most people do not feel the words.  I mean, really, feel the words.  They are felt when something significant happens in our lives.  It might not be cancer.  It could be many different things that would cause a person to evaluate what they are going through and realize that it helps if you adopt the wisdom of…One Day At A Time. 

One or two of those days I recommend you spend at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. 

Thank you, Brenda, for the visit.

More than 600 balloons were at the Fiesta